So, I’ve just plucked up the courage to log back on here after quite some absence…
To say things have been difficult the past year or so would be a bit of an understatement! I’ve usually kept my posts on here sewing-related, but have been feeling bad for a while about not explaining my absence, especially to my regular followers and commenters, who had become close to ‘friends’ on here. I’m really sorry, but sometimes when life just gets tough, you just have to close down a little…
So here goes my ‘confessional’ and then I’m hoping to get back to usual business : the sewing, albeit in a (probably) less regular form…
So last May (yep, right in the middle of #memademay 2016… I attempted to keep smiling for a while, but eventually gave up…) my ten year marriage disintegrated. It actually feels pretty good that I can now write that without collapsing into floods of tears, so progress of sorts I guess… It had been bad for a while, but it still came as a pretty big shock, as anyone who’s been in a similar position can probably testify.Β And the repercussions were pretty far-reaching: especially my loss of a sense of ‘us’ as a family. Generally, life just became a bit ‘much’ and I had to close down a little: coping with any more than keeping my children ok and holding down my job was just impossible and so I had to ‘leave’ here for a while…
And turns out I’m a ‘happy’ sewer, which I read about in a sewing magazine a while back. As in, I don’t sew to cheer myself up, I sew because I feel in a good place to be creative. Because, of course, sewing inevitably involves a fair few ‘failures’ and I’d had enough of ‘failing’ to open myself up to any more… And so, I shut down on sewing also. Although I have done a bit of knitting, more comforting I guess?
But it’s not all bad: turns out there are some silver linings to going through divorce proceedings. Most of all, what lovely, supportive and loyal family and friends I have. I kind of knew this anyway, but going through such personal s##t (excuse the language, but it’s the only term for it) really brought this home for me! And Ali of Thimberlina fame that kind of includes you, thank you for the gentle nudge and your humour: you made me laugh out loud! It was just what I needed at the time!
So, there have some rumblings in the creative department of late, hence my return here. I certainly have a very large stockpile of magazine inspiration to inspire me… So ‘failure’ and a whole lot of creative fun, I’m just about ready for you again! And of course the upcoming #yorkshirespoolettes meet up may have nudged me into action, especially when I heard a certain someone was heading over all the way from Germany!! Excuse my failure to remember how to do links, etc, Β I’ll get back to it and may well have been compiling my half-term Sunday Sevens photos for the week even…
And whilst I’m a little apprehensive about dusting off my no doubt rusty sewing skills, I’m equally looking forward to catching up with what everyone’s been up to on here… Even if that involves scaring me senseless at how accomplished you’ve all become. May well be ‘back to basics’ for a while for me…
To steal a famous Take That song title, looking forward to being ‘back for good…’,
Teresa
Such a difficult time you have been through. I am old enough to know that life is filled with failures, sewing and otherwise. But they eventually make you stronger and much wiser. I wish you only the best in life (and with your renewed sewing!), and I so admire your bravery in writing this post.
Thank you for your kind words. Onwards and upwards, and very much looking forward to getting my ‘sewing head’ back on again… X.
I’m so sorry to hear this but it’s good to have you back x
Ahhh, thank you! Been meaning to for a while, but just lacking in emotional energy… Looking forward to getting back ‘on it’, hope all well with you and yours X.
All good here thanks. Unfortunately I’m not at Dewsbury next weekend so I won’t see you this time to round. It’s coincided with our mini holiday to London! But I’ll be thinking of you all whilst I’m shopping down Goldhawk road!
Not too bad an alternative then π Enjoy! X
I am sorry to hear about the emotional roller coaster you have been on. I too am old enough to know that these enormous changes bring not only wisdom but also new and bright opportunities. Looking forward to your new spark of creativity.
Thank you Jenny. Ali’s nudge and some fab freebie patterns have tempted me back into the arena π And yes, the future’s actually beginning to maybe even look ‘exciting’ again, after feeling it had very much been stolen away from me for quite some time…
Lovely One, it’s so-o-o G.O.O.D. to see you back ! ! ! ππ π
Have been sending good thoughts across the pond to you and yours in your absence, hoping all was going well for you. Been there & done that but without the children, so understand. Do let us know if you need anything, and I’m sure some one (or more π) of us will do all we can. xxxx ππ
Hello Del! Your username just sprung an big, impromptu smile on my face π
And thank you, what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger and all that! Looking forward to getting back on my machines.
Hope all very much well with you? Xxx
So nice to evoke a smile. π Yes, doing as well as can be expected. All things considered. π Hope to see you sewing real so-o-on! βοΈπβοΈπ π
π Glad you’re doing ok to Del x
So sorry to hear of your troubles. I send you good wishes from Canada and am happy to see you back!
Thank you Linda, that’s very kind of you.
In the scheme of things far worse things happen in the world, so I’m learning to get a bit of perspective on the whole thing. And of course time is a great healer too…
Hope all been good with you and yours? Xx
Everything is fine here, thanks for asking. We have elderly parents so they have been keeping us busy, but all is well.
Glad to hear it and yes, I can imagine that keeps you very busy…
Looking forward to catching up with what you’ve been making. Plan to ‘get back on it’ this weekend π
I’ll be watching for your makes!
Great to have you back. Its great you have the Yorkshire Spoolettes day to look forward to and the adventures of sewing again too. Hopefully the worst of it is behind you and you can move on with a more positive stitch in your step!
Hello! And thank you. I very much like the sound of a more positive stitch in my step. Might even have to make that my motto…
Hope all been well with you and yours xx
So sorry to hear of the events of the last year but glad to hear you are coming out the other end stronger than before. Glad you are back. Looking forward to seeing you in Dewsbury. Anne
Thank you Anne. There is mostly always a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it sometimes starts off very faint!
And really looking forward to next week’s meet up, yes π
I have been wondering about you for some time – as a very amateur sewer I enjoyed your blog. I’ve been through the whole divorce, young children thing too so I know things do work out in the end though it’s painful getting through it. I wish you every success and much happiness in the future.
That’s really kind of you thanks Aileen and hearing about others who have come out the other side is really encouraging. I may even be able to see that life will eventually be a whole lot better…
Onwards and upwards… And of course, back on with the sewing π x
It is lovely to see you back and I’m so sorry that you’ve been through such an difficult time. Please don’t think of yourself as ‘failing’, although I know that is easy to do! I hope that you can soon get back to being a happy sewer again. Ali’s smile on her blog always cheers me up so she’s a good person to have on your side! Take good care. xx
Thank you, the ups and downs are all part of life I guess… Hard not to see yourself as a failure, but feeling a whole lot braver than I was…
Welcome back!! I still need to blog on those culotte pattern you sent me!! Sorry to hear you have had such a rubbish year x
π Thank you. Did they work out well? hope so X
Very glad to hear you’re back but definitely not glad it’s been a bit shite recently. Looking forward to reading your posts whenever you’re ready to post again xx
Thanks Jenny. Been thinking about returning for a while and it’s definitely cheered me up today receiving such nice messages π
Welcome back Theresa! I’ve missed your blog – you’ve often inspired me with your highs (and a few lows!) in sewing and I was so glad when you found your way to some Ministry of Craft courses after I’d recommended them.
You seem such a lovely person, brilliant mum and you are showing such courage getting back here after a terrible time. I’m really looking forward to seeing what you make and your fresh and informative comments on the process. X
Ahhh… Thanks for your support Sharon. And yes, I’m feeling pretty rusty, so there may well be some more lows π But think I’m just about ready for them, and more importantly to see the funny side of them too… X
Oh Teresa I’m so sorry you’ve had such a difficult few months, if I was nearer I’d give you a big hug! Believe me, your cheery blog presence has been sorely missed. Lots of love xxx
That’s really sweet of you Jane, thank you! It’s been a pretty tough year, but feeling much stronger all round, and getting back to my machine is long overdue… X
Hi Theresa, I’ve fallen out of Blogland too for the last year-ish, I haven’t read blogs for ages. Just logged in today to see this (I had been wondering where you were the few times I’ve been blogging)! So sorry to hear your news – but onwards and upwards eh, I hope you’ll be in your happy place really soon and able to sew! You’ve got to go downhill before you can get back up – and when you do get up to the top it’ll be amazing. X
Thanks for your inspiring words Beth. It’s been a gruelling year, but I reached a bit of a turning point around November. Christmas was tough, but never been so relieved to see a New Year in! Do you still have your sewing business? Planning on doing some catching up this weekend on what everyone’s been up to π x
That’s good to hear π Yes I do, really busy!! π x
Glad to hear you’re back. I had a tough 2016 as well but for me sewing was my escape from the shit except I wasn’t getting much escape. Hopefully if we’re seeing you back on here it’s a good indication of how your life is going. Looking forward to seeing more of you on here. x
Thanks Lesley. Not actually sure 2016 was a good year for many… Hope you’re doing better now? Yep, sounds ridiculous, but feels a pretty big step getting back on here. May have had my machine back out today, and it felt really good π Take care X.
Aw, so glad you’re ok, and it was so brace of you to open up to us all. It’s surprising how many ‘friends’ we all have out there. Your post put a smile on my face in so much as you much be feeling more yourself to be able to write. So looking forward to seeing you, I I think there’ll be quite a few hugs coming your way so you’d best brace yourself!! xx
PS I’m still blogging and I’m struggling – I just typed this little lot in your search box!! Doh! π³
I mean brace….I really should read my comments before I hit the big button!!
Xxx.
Thanks Ali, and thank you so much for getting in touch: thinking of making ‘at least it’s just a man and not your machine that’s broken’ my sewing mantra! π Really looking onward to seeing everyone on Saturday too, and hoping I don’t get too emoptional.. Ahh, life hey? Onwards and upwards…
I’ll fetch the tissues cos you’ll set me off if you do, only 7 sleeps! π
π Ahh, really looking forward to it. Hope the planning isn’t too stressful this week… X.
So glad to have you back. You might notice that many of us have been absent here and there from the blogging world. I am so sorry to hear your news that kept you away. We’ll look forward to some of your creativity very soon. I can certainly relate to the difficult journey you have been experiencing. I know there’s life on the other side, hang in there. π Big hugs.π
Thank you and it’s lovely to be back in touch with everyone. It’s taken a good whole, but feeling a lot stronger and itching to get creative again π x
So lovely to have you back. Let me tell you from experience that you will end up in such a better place, if not now, eventually. Then it’ll be a period in your life that happened but doesn’t define you, if you know what I mean.
I found the worst bit (13 years ago, when freya was 2) was the grieving for the life that I had always imagined I would have. Growing old together, more kids together, grandchildren together. But I wasn’t grieving about my husband leaving, just grieving for the dream I had. Life is certainly more interesting and was quite complicated for a while but I wouldn’t change a thing. Take care. See you next weekend x
Thanks Lucie, and lovely to hear from others who have ‘come out the other side’ as it were. Yep, it’s definitely the loss of your ‘future’ and sense of ‘family’ that’s the toughest… Had some low times, but already feeling more ‘myself’ than I have done for a long time and the reevaluating is certainly a positive. Thanks for your support and sharing. X
So glad to hear that you’re feeling a bit more positive after what has been a dreadful year for you – it’s good to have you back as you have been missed! I’ve been in contact with Ali as we were worried about your sudden disappearance and she was kind enough to get in touch with you. Onwards and upwards, I hope! I have been there and totally know what you’re going through. The Spoolettes will put a smile back on your face, that’s for sure – have a great day with them!
Thanks Sheila π Feeling a lot better thanks, but felt like I was just about functioning and getting through one very long day at a time… Attempting anything creative was just beyond me, and blogging as much as sewing I guess. Knitting’ been strangely thereupeutic though, something about its rhythm and familiarity I guess…
Hope all’s been well with you and yours xx.
I’m so sorry to hear about your horrible year – but glad you feel able to come back now! Enjoy the meet up next week!
Louise
Thanks Louise and good to hear from you π God to back too…
So lovely to hear from you Teresa. Sending love and best wishes xx
Thank you. Are you coming to Dewsbury next week? X
I’m not quite sure yet. It would be lovely to see you though π
π Have you had this week off? Or are you celebrating since yesterday? π x
I’ve just got back from a lovely week in Scotland so am back to work in Monday – how about you?
Yep, me too! But without the lovely Scotland trip… Got a serious case of the Sunday night blues π¦ Ah, well, the thought of it is generally worse than the reality… X
Sending you lots of love. Lovely to see you back! Enjoy your meet-up and I’ll definitely look forward to hearing what you make next! S x
Thanks Steph. It’s been an exhausting year and I’m certainly going to have to be organised to find chunks of time for sewing, but hoping I’ll get there.. X
Been there and bought the tshirt my friend. (Minus kids). Massive kudos to you, it’s bloody hard!
Good to have you back here and I think you’ll find that a return to sewing is a bit like getting back on the proverbial bicycle. Arohanui xx
Ha! I’m hoping it will all come back. It’s the finding time that’s going to cause problems, but I’m sure it’s possible…
Sorry to hear you’ve been here too… Yep, I’d like to think I’m made of pretty strong stuff, but it totally floored me for quite some time… What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger and all that… X
So sorry to hear how your year has been. I have to admit I don’t get on here very often these days but it was so nice to see your name pop up on my feed!
Thank you! Lovely to se your name and other familiar ones popping up again after all this time π I think blogging is quite a commitment and sometimes life’s just too short… X
So sorry to hear what an awful time you’ve been through but so glad you’ve been strong enough to come back to the sewing/ blogging world because we missed you! Hopefully there are going to be better times ahead for you.
Thank you! And whilst there have Ben some pretty low points, it’s not all even bad. Turns out I have an awful lot of great family & friends, I’ve had a very cleansing clear out and done a lot of re evaluating… All of which has been very positive. Sewing next π x
You’ve really been through a tough time but so glad to hear you’re coming out the other side, we say in our house ‘chin up buttercup’ onwards and upwards is the only way to go x
Absolutely! Thank you, feeling a lot more positive generally, but boy has it taken some doing… X.
Its so good to hear from you Theresa. I have missed you and would regularly check here and on Instagram. Looking forward to seeing you at Dewsbury next week :-). Love, Hila.xxxxx
Thanks Hila. I just haven’t had the emotional energy to sew. And being a single Mum doesn’t leave an awful lot of spare time… But as I’m typing this I’m realising that don’t you have four? Gulp! Alright, I’m on it, albeit probably at a much slower pace π xxx
I am also sorry to hear your news. I was wondering about you and was hoping that you were ok. I look forward to reading your next posts about your makes.
Teresa
Thanks Teresa. Felt like I was only just coping with real life, so this was just beyond me. But I’ve been stronger for a while now, so hoping I can get back to it finally π x.
Hey Teresa, so sorry to hear you’ve had such a difficult time. But to hear ‘rumblings in your creative department’ suggests that you’re on the up. I checked out your blog only the other day as I’d realised I’d not seen any posts in a while. Whether you’re ready for sewing or not, I hope you can draw some strength, support and friendship from this wonderful community. Rachel x
Thank you so much Rachel. And yes, I think the rumblings are a good sign π Been amassing sewing magazines and patterns ore a whike now, so entry of ideas.xx
Teresa, it’s just SO nice to have you back here! And so good to hear that you’re starting to see silver linings!
Aaaand I’m so excited to finally meet you and Ali and the others in person in Dewsbury – I’ve already finished packing, that’s how excited I am!!
Only 7 sleeps, that’s what Ali would say,ey? π
Ha! And lovely to hear from you π Ali may well have used you as her strongest sellin point when she was telling me about the meet up! How could I possibly have refused? So excited to finally meet you in person. It’ll be fab! Xx.
Oh hi again Teresa! I’ve missed, as have so many others. Looking forward to seeing that gorgeous smile in the Dewsbury pictures!
Thank you for sharing this, courageous of you! As for divorce, I’ve been there, too. And it is indeed a time of trying, shitty time. But it will continue to get better, I promise, and never, ever beat yourself up if you have a down day now and again.
So happy you’re back, and sending all good wishes.
Aww.. It’s been so lovely to see all these familiar names popping up again π I’ve missed this place too but just couldn’t manage it for a while. Turns out there are far more of us who have been here that real life would have you think. Images of smiling, happy families seemed to be everywhere over Christmas… But that’s done and the only way is up, hopefully with some sewing thrown in π xx.
So pleased to see you back. You have to put you first, including your children, and other stuff has to take a back seat. I can’t wait to see your next sewing achievements, as you inspired me to sew more ready to wear clothes, and I love reading your posts. Keep smiling and looking after you xxx
Thank you Nikki, that’s really kind of you. And everyone’s been so lovely on here. I finally got my machine back out this weekend, but I’ll be back to basics for a while… π x
So good to see you back. I too tend to keep things to myself when things aren’t good, so understand why you needed to step away. I have missed you. As for everyone’s sewing improving while you’ve been away, rest assured mine’s as bad as it’s ever been.
Hello, and thank you! And for the reassurance about the sewing… π I have already got back ‘behind the wheel’ of my machine again with mixed successes so far… We’ll see… Hope you’ve been keeping well? X
Good to hear you’re back behind the ‘wheel’, I’m sure you’ll get back in to the swing very quickly. It’s all been good here while you’ve been away, apart from Mr Hicks and his roller coaster health, but he’s batting on and will be 13 in May, so can’t complain π xx
A grand old age then, he’s not doing too badly at all π x
Yes – and considering all he’s been through, he’s doing brilliantly π
So glad you have been able to gather the strength over time to come back here. Looking forward to seeing your makes. Best of wishes going forward
Many thanks Stacy. Everyone’s been so lovely on here that I’m not sure while I stayed away so long… Ah, well sometimes you just need a rest. X
Glad to see you back Teresa π
Thanks Trisha. It’s lovely to be back. I just wish I could find some time to catch back up with everyone on here… X
Teresa, I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. It’s lovely to have you back. I look forward to seeing your makes as you get back in the sewing saddle. Take care x
Thanks for your kind words. Doing a lot better now thankfully π xx
Hey, welcome back, sorry it’s been so bad but hopefully it will all be sunny for you from now on. If it’s any consolation, I haven’t been around here that much either, for different reasons though, but I did notice your absence. Looking forward to reading you again. xxx
That’s really kind, thank you! Yep, think we all need a break now and then, but hopefully I’m back on it now π x
Rotten news Theresa. It is a tough experience but I am sure you will survive and emerge even stronger as a result. Sending my love and best wishes
Thank you for your kind wishes. I’ve had some pretty low points, but been feeling a lot better since the new year kicked in and almost back to normal now… Life hey?! Hope all well with you X
Hey, it’s good to see you back! I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had a rough time recently and I hope that you/ are feeling stronger as the days go by. My lovely Mum passed away in October and I totally understand that feeling of not wanting to put yourself out there. I found that sewing and blogging was a kind of therapy for me and I hope it gives you the same positivity. As I said, it’s lovely to see you – you’ve been missed! x
Oh, Teresa, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through such a rough time. I have wondered about you over the last months and I’m glad to see you back. I hope you and your kids are doing as well as you can be and adjusting to your new normal life. Take care and I look forward to seeing posts from you again!